My practice is named Compassionate Self Healing as it is aligned with my value of holding compassion for ourselves as we heal, but that wasn’t always how I lived my life. Once compassion towards myself terrified and eluded me. I wasn’t comfortable with directing such kindness and care inside, though it seemed to exist boundlessly for others. There was a time when silence felt dangerous and sitting with my own thoughts an impossible task. Back then the voice in my head was so critical, I was afraid of being ripped to pieces. I was my own worst enemy, the farthest thing from a friend or a safe place for myself, and I sought to escape through escapism and dissociation often. It all seemed so impossibly big and knotted, and I feared to look too closely. To turn inwards and shine a light there, to illuminate that struggle within me, was to know the truth of my pain.

So I ignored it, avoided it, sought to solve the “problem” of what was wrong with me. I tried coping strategies and bandaid solutions in place of true healing, exiling and isolating my pain even further in the process. Nothing worked in years of therapy, I couldn’t break any cycles, until I started Internal Family Systems Therapy with a qualified IFS therapist of my own. Befriending has been a long road to travel. Even today much of me has a hard time with pacing; “go even slower” is contradictory to all I’ve been taught in life. Nevertheless, I have taken the time for every part of me to be truly known and understood, all parts welcomed and none left behind or forgotten. To see clearly and listen to my parts, to sit with and feel their emotions, without trying to fix or change or save myself in the process, not plan for the future nor analyze the past—to hold no agenda but to simply be with what is there, that is the first step. Then came a softening towards the parts, a new perspective of them and the roles they played and, finally, a shift towards something new, something different. There is a feeling of lightness when the burdens are released at last and you are open to new possibilities. What if there’s another way? I could finally see it. With IFS practice came choice in how I lived my life, and the freedom to finally start making those choices. This is how I found myself and I continue to walk this path.

Perhaps because I have always loved reading and writing fantasy stories I had always assumed change and growth had to come through conflict and hardship. If it didn’t hurt you weren’t doing it right. But for myself I have found pressure, shame, aggression, abuse, belittling, and judgement to all be conditions that reinforced and hardened patterns, keeping me stuck or trapped. If I truly wanted to break free, to be different—not just do things differently—if I wanted to live my life in accordance with my values, to rewrite my story and authentically be myself, in order for me to truly live and breathe and not just survive in life meant being with, accepting, and embracing myself with compassion while letting go of everything that was not me and was never mine to carry. I hold great love for the parts that felt self destruction was their only option to protect me, and I am grateful that my relationship with them has grown close, to the point that those strategies are no longer used. Instead there is communication between us, curiosity and an openness to finding another way to get my needs met. That is how I learned to trust myself.

This lived experience is why I truly believe in experiential healing through Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)—that real healing happens in the experience of presence and witnessing, of being truly seen and safely held in ways we never were. In acceptance of and commitment to ourselves. I have walked the path of connecting with myself and being in relationship with my parts in my own life, and in doing so I found my calling to continue this journey with others. This is why I became an IFS Therapist, completing Level One training with the IFS Institute and continuing to work towards full certification in IFS today. During that training I came to recognize that I had lost myself to my job in group practice, feeling overwhelmed, insecure, and abandoned in a healthcare system that cared little for those I served or for me. One of the greatest gifts of IFS is choice. Compassionate Self Healing Therapy PLLC is the culmination of my own work towards choosing myself and integrating peace and joy into my life. It is my own reminder that it is never too late to come back to myself. Healing happens in connection and in love; having reconnected with myself and regaining the love of and for my work, I am now able to fully connect with others and pass on this gift to those who seek it. IFS parts work as a practice really does make a difference and allows me to create a life worth living and loving, for myself and all my parts.

Prior to my current life as an IFS Therapist at home in the breathtakingly beautiful state of Washington, the first ten years of my working life were spent as a Service Dog Kennel Manager. While I saw the incredible gift of those dogs and their unconditional love positively impact the quality of life of their disabled human partners, I also realized that there was other deeper and meaningful work to be done as well. Those service dogs were lights in the darkness, especially for veterans, but they could not fully release their humans from the shadows eclipsing their minds and hearts, or the self imposed disconnection and isolation from others. Bearing witness to unhealed PTSD, trauma, depression, anxiety, and hopelessness encouraged me to enter the field of Social Work. A decade ago I moved to the Pacific Northwest, found a deep and profound love of nature and hiking, and started my career path in clinical social work and social justice with hope and determination. I earned a Master of Social Work at the University of Washington, Tacoma in 2021.  Prior to that, I had earned a Bachelor of Arts at the Johnston Center for Integrated Studies at the University of Redlands, California.  I hold experience from private practice, community mental health, residential services, an oncology ward in a hospital, skilled nursing facility, memory care, and hospice.  I love working with individual adults and older adults with diverse or complex identities and backgrounds, especially including neurodivergence and other disabilities, differing romantic and gender orientations, LGBTQIAP+, Asexual/Ace Spec, Poly, or Queer folks and their communities, the latter being in my own constellation of identities as well.  I have also personally experienced the loss of a loved one and have facilitated support groups for those grieving.  I am licensed by the State of Washington as a Licensed Associate Independent Clinical Social Worker (#SC61285366). 

It is my hope that as my practice and I continue to grow, someday I will have an office space in which I can offer to see people in person, with a therapy dog—I envision a fluffy golden one. At that time I will share looseleaf tea with my people, as I am particularly fond of a spicy chai made with local honey, in a favorite tea cup kept warm in a cozy made from my own crochet. I will keep moving towards my dream while truly enjoying life in the present moment. Life and the living of it is in the here and now after all, consider this an open invitation to join in.